Doctoral studies are like a lesson in the Real-World Apartments from The Cosby Show. (Sorry, but I am not going to let Bill Cosby’s flawed character ruin what amounted to the salvation of my childhood, nor my wonderful memories of seeing people who looked like me NOT slaves or “the help” on television.) You live and work in the world of education and, after 1.5+ decades of public service, you think you have things figured out. Then, you enter this new world where all the furniture is missing and people who look familiar (professors, other graduate students, undergrads, etc.) start playing different characters in new, unfamiliar scenes.
My study-buddy group and I had a marvelous discussion about this phenomenon yesterday at a coffee shop. While we do not agree on everything, the conversation was lively and fulfilling. I was challenged to think differently about the way I see myself and education in this new “space”. It is invigorating for me to get push back from colleagues and friends on ontological and epistemological levels without having to worry that fragility and/or hurt feelings will ensue. Zager said it best, “Disagreement is not disrespect.” (I lost my book in the move and hope I got that quote right?!?!) There are some mathematical spaces that could use a lesson or two in this regard. Because of that conversation, here’s one thing I’m reflecting on this morning…
The original tweet calls this message “simple”. For me, it could not be more complex. I am imagining how it must feel to be able to, with 100% certainty, check # 1 as complete on the list? How incredibly lovely it probably feels to NEVER have that questioned by teachers, bosses, strangers and the president of the United States of America? To always know there is some floor to the cruelty you experience in Girl Scouts, at school or on playgrounds at the park, because you are in fact both human beings in each other’s eyes? I do not have answers, and will probably not get them in my lifetime. This knowledge is merely 1 piece in the cycle of trauma regularly inflicted on me for being black, poor and a woman in America, and having the gall to equally identify as a mathematician.
**BTW: I know not personally neither the person who tweeted nor retweeted this. This is in no way a reflection on either of them personally, nor professionally, and you do not have permission to interpret my words that way. 🙂 Since the message tagged some people I do know and consider real friends, it popped up in the algorithm of my Twitter feed.
Just FYI, if you tire of hearing me speak about equity not being a sidekick in mathematics learning and teaching, please be sure I am tired of *having* to say I’m a human out loud daily, too. It’s been 400 years of yelling the same painful words into the void (See #1619Project). But, for all of our children, I must be able to look back on my life and say, “I did the best things I could for you my babies.”
P.S. I used to be really good at hopscotch, but there is no skipping over the first box on this one.
P.P.S. I have been advised to reserve my academic writings for other venues by people who truly care about me, so, this is back to being my open diary of an outlier’s life at sea.
P.P.P.S. A website called the usage of multiple postscripts a signal that you are “lazy” and “ignorant”, so I thought I’d add just one more to signal your ideas of me mean nothing. Catch my dust word police.
Lybrya's Log of Learning 